Most of us try to avoid it all together.
Instead, we invite pleasure and distraction in to help us cope with those intense emotions. But in the midst of our own pain, it seems almost impossible to experience anything beyond suffering.
What if there was a way out?
Believe it or not, it’s possible to work through the pain we feel by breaking down the psychological meaning we attach to it. Most people label pain as damaging, weak or interfering. As something that isn’t useful. We look at pain as something negative because the feelings that surround it present themselves in such an intense way.
Most of us never see the silver lining, because we fail to realize that our pain has a purpose.
There are benefits to be gained from the pain we experience. But first, we have to get past the initial tidal wave of emotions. A cut needs to bleed, scab and scar in order to heal. So does our soul.
Most of the time, we choose to live so deeply in our darkness that it consumes our thoughts and as a result, leaves us feeling powerless.
Yet, every time we experience a painful setback, we underestimate how resilient we truly are. We never fully give resiliency a chance.
It’s impossible to overcome our pain if we’re always running away from it.
The goal here is to learn how to coexist with pain just like we do with joy and happiness. It’s about surrendering, accepting and loving it – allowing it to pass without any restriction or judgments.
In order to learn how to coexist with pain, it’s absolutely crucial to look within. We cannot become whole, happy human beings without experiencing the depths of our own darkness. We cannot learn from our mistakes if we’ve never failed. We cannot grow if we’ve always stayed within our comfort zone.
So how can we learn to embrace our own waves of pain and suffering?
By learning how to associate pain to a bigger purpose.
In order to do this, you first need to quiet the voice inside your head that’s insisting you’re at fault for the setback you’re facing. Blaming yourself for the pain you’re feeling does not serve you. Partaking in this inner dialogue won’t allow you to co-exist with your pain. Instead it will force you to bare through it.
When we feel like a rug has been pulled from under us and life is unfair, it’s actually a great opportunity to check in with ourselves. To do this, you need to force yourself to see the situation from a different perspective. For example, when you’re dealing with a job loss, you’ll likely blame yourself for not doing a good enough job. Instead, take a hard look at the time that you spent at that job. Have you gained many new skills that you can add to your resume? Or maybe it’s helped bring to light the parts of the role that you like and which ones you don’t, which means you’re now able to get yourself on a career path that better serves your talents and interests.
Once you’re able to see the situation for what it is and move past the self-blame, you can see these painful moments as a learning experience. You’ll be able to understand that your particular setback is a stepping-stone to something bigger and better. You’ll recognize that shutting the world out and allowing the pain to consume you is not going to get you anywhere. That partaking in activities that are going to build you up, even though it may be challenging, is what’s going to aid you through the process.
The silver lining of suffering is that you’ve been to the darkest corners of your mind. Experiencing this means you have a great deal of insights about who you are. Now, you can use this insight to your advantage. You can start shedding light on who are you and what you need. And now that you’ve been able to dig deep and allow yourself to feel your own suffering, just imagine the depth of happiness you’ll be able to experience, too.